Meeting Betty Jessop
There are two competing story lines to Betty Jessop, which I think are summed up in the two photos above.
1. The FLDS view (on the left) is a smiling and happy young FLDS woman who returned to her faith and family when she turned 18 and now lives a wonderful life surrounded by family and friends.
2. The worldly view (for lack of a better term) is a curiosity and sadness that this young girl had escaped a cult but chose to return to its secretive culture and give up her freedom.
Please use a permanent marker to circle your position on the computer screen. Especially if you are at work.
Hey, did I mention that I met Betty Jessop?
We were ushered into this dining room area in a home on the YFZ Ranch and met Betty. She was surrounded by (I’m guessing) her sisters and other family members. They were all a little nervous at all the attention, and there was much giggling. I don’t think too many strangers with cameras come around.
Betty laughed and was a little camera shy at first. It was the end of a long day and she hadn’t expected to have her photo taken tonight. She was hardly the first young woman to ask me to delete any “ugly” pictures. I thought she looked great. We sat down and she talked, and after thirty minutes or so it was over.
Last night I went to a local bookstore to hear Betty’s mother, Carolyn Jessop, talk about her bestselling book, Escape. As she read about Betty, Carolyn got emotional. At one point, reading about her leaving, she told of going back into the house to get her daughter and saying, “Betty, I will not leave you behind!”
During the Q&A Carolyn was asked how her kids are doing now. Speaking of Betty, she said that Betty had turned down a friend’s offer to pay for college. About Brooke’s article on the front page yesterday, FLDS Teen Disputes Mom’s Book, Carolyn said, “That’s been very painful.” Brooke’s story focused on a book that Betty has been writing about her experiences in and out of the FLDS community. Someone described it to me as “Escape From Escape.”
Carolyn said that Betty had lots of friends when she was attending public school after leaving the FLDS (in West Jordan, a suburb of Salt Lake City), and she worried that the book might destroy Betty’s relationships with those friends, further locking her into the FLDS society.
Someone asked if the FLDS members of Carolyn’s family had read the book. Carolyn said she didn’t know, that if any had they would never admit it as the book would be contraband. During our interview with Betty, she said she had read parts of her mother’s book, and expressed hurt by some of it.
Carolyn talked about how smart Betty was, and suggested that Betty would be saddened at the state of education among the FLDS. She said Betty had taken a child development class in high school, and would know sexual abuse when she saw it.
Someone said to Carolyn, “I have a hard time understanding what is pulling Betty back.” Carolyn said that Betty was a favorite of her father, that he named her his favorite name. She said Merril was very protective of Betty. If the girls got in trouble the punishment would be, “A slap to the sisters and a sucker for Betty.”
According to Carolyn, leaving the community was a big blow to Betty. In the FLDS community, she never got in trouble. She was the favored daughter of one of the most powerful men. Teachers bowed to Betty. She had the world by the tail. When she left and went to a public school, she felt alone. She missed her half brother. All the kids had a hard time without their siblings.
I think you are seeing some of the people that Betty felt alone without in these photos.
The mind control is really strong, Carolyn said. We sent her to twelve therapists; it was impossible to break through the mind control.
Carolyn said she calls and texts Betty all the time, though she wasn’t sure if it was really Betty’s number or if Betty even had access to a phone. “Once in a while I get a call,” Carolyn said.
I remembered that Betty had a phone and a camera, which you see in most of these photos.
Carolyn said that if Betty wanted to get out, she would. “I would make sure,” said Carolyn.
Thanks for the backstory. Nice frame at the table.
Thank you for sharing. On the last picture three of the girls are biting nails. Do you think she is happy there now? Does she miss an outside world?
While Betty probably had friends in high school, I’m sure there were also hard times. She was trying to live her fundamentalist beliefs, and It’s high school, you know? She’s with her father now, by her choice (as far as I can tell), and seems happy with her decision. I think it’s obvious that someone in a position like hers would feel pressure (real or not) from activists on either side of the issue. Hopefully she makes her choices for herself, whatever they are.
she will find out one day, she should have got out of there at the first opportunity
Wow….notice how some of these children cover their mouths. Body language says what the mouth usually doesn’t.
After reading Joseph Smith’s life in the book entitled “Mormon America,” and researching the sect, I would say that Joseph Smith lived in his own fantasy world of make believe relgion, in which he conjured up so called ‘golden plates’ and prophetic fantasies that were false. Men are superior to women and children, and their rights come second to the man(eps older men)
Smith like war games, and secret societies(had his own so called ’secret society’) He spent much of his time looking for hidden treasures with a metal detector, and fantasizing the world that he made up.
Unfortunately, his sexual desires led to many wives, which even those leaders close to him, knew that it was pure lust, not love. He did not hesitate to shoot anyone if he was angry with them, and had his own security guards, hired to make sure that his enemies were taken care of.
How he managed to convince innocent people to follow his religious ideas is related to his charisma, and their lack of knowledge. It pays to research any system before deciding it is of God, because it may be just one man’s ideas.
thanks-myra mcqueen
Ms. McQueen,
While I respect everyone’s opinion, yours is very disheartening. You sound like you’re describing Warren Jeffs, not Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith’s life was far from a “fantasy” as you put it. He went through some of the most terrible experiences and sacrificed a lot to bring forth a truth that, while its contents are wonderful, no mormon forces on anyone. I don’t understand why people are so judgmental of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (not to be confused with that FLDS nonsense) and its members. They are the most kind-hearted and service-oriented group I know. I would urge you to talk to a mormon about Joseph Smith, and then ponder your thoughts about him again. I mean, if I wanted to learn about Catholocism I wouldn’t talk to a Jewish person. Think about it.
L
Funny, nobody else has a phone or a camera.
How odd that Betty would show up for photos
with one of each!
Sad…Sad…Sad…Betty looks so OLD for such a young woman.
in the second pic – is that a male in the background pointing a finger at a female???
That’s a male, but he’s not an FLDS member. He’s an attorney who was having a conversation with a group of people in that room. I have no idea what they’re talking about right there but I was in the room before we started talking to Betty and the attorneys were just finding out about the people.
One attorney asked one of the women, “How many children do you have?”
The woman said, “Fourteen.”
He didn’t seem to believe it and rephrased his question. “I mean, how many children have you given birth to?”
“Fourteen,” she said with a smile.
Wait until little Miss Betty is married off to some half toothless 65 year old, as wife #62. Her trials at a public high school will seem like child’s play compared to her wedding night. Ugh. Gives me the creeps.
so odd how she manages to include the cell phone and camera in each picture… it is clearly staged to make people believe she has access to those luxuries when she probably does not
kook-
From my time around the FLDS, there don’t seem to be restrictions on cel phones. In fact, it seems that everyone has one. And during a recent court hearing in Salt Lake City, where at least a thousand FLDS members held a rally, there were hundreds with cameras taking plenty of photographs.
Zebra @ Sept 9th: I doubt that Betty will be married off to an older man. She will probably always play the role of Elian Gonzalez in this community, and retain a great deal of power and status.
I think returning to the FLDS is simply what Betty wanted to do. In retrospect it may have been wiser for Carolyn to let her go home sooner, rather than obligating Betty to wait until she was 18.
I notice some peculiar things about these photographs too, which I think would be better not put into words. I do agree with Amanda from August 26th; this is not the face of an 18 year old.
I promise you Betty is gappied then you’ll ever know!
Thanks for your concerns, but I don’t think she’ll be interested!
Dolly –
I’m assuming that you mean “happier” where it says “gappied”
Does anyone realize that the dress Betty is wearing in these photos costs $160 at the FLDS website?? Fancy garb for folks doing “God’s work.” I also noticed that the girls in the photos are exhibiting some anxiety through their body language. I hope they can escape the cage of “fundamentalism.”
Kathy -
There must be a lot of mark-up for the FLDS dresses available through their online store. The materials involved are not expensive. Their dresses are essentially solid-colored cotton-polyester blend fabric, four or five matching buttons, thread and maybe a zipper.
I like that Betty dressed her outfit up with cute black ballet flats instead of the ubiquitous athletic shoes or sandals-over-socks. Tres chic, Betty!
I find it so interesting how all the girls either cover their face, or are chewing their nails. I would be nervous to living under those conditions. Not knowing when I will have my innocents taken from me, just because some prophet hooks me up with some old perv! I truly feel sorry for not just Betty but all those young woman and girls. Their future is dim and lies in the hands of a old man that will dictate their lives. This is not Gods will. When I read the book Escape I was appalled by the way woman are treated. They are totally brain washed and so are the young men! I will pray for the young members of this bogus cult.
I am reading Escape and find it very disturbing. My heart breaks for the women and children in the FLDS. I hope and pray that Betty was able to see the goodness on the outside and be able to help those in need in the FLDS. They seem to be living in their own sad world without any freedom. It kind of reminds me of the women in the Middle East countries, your husband calls all the shots. Betty please remember that your mother loves you and did what any sane person would do in those conditions.
I agree it seems very middle east. This girl is living in a fantasy world, she has no idea of the hardships ahead. At 18 she should be heading to college not about to procrate 18 spawn that will be brainwashed and abushed. My hope is that one day poligamy is ilklegal as it should be in all 50 states and territories.This is so wrong on so many levels.
dear all, please do not compare FLDS women to the middle eastern women. very different.
in the middle east/muslim world, women are encouraged to look beautiful for their husbands. polygamy is allowed but it is barely in the same fashion as the FLDS people. for one, it is not encouraged for polygamist women to stay in the same house. a man who wishes to take on more than one wife should house them seperately and be as fair as humanly possible (meaning if you want to buy your 2 wives gifts, you got to buy 3 because after the 1st wife picks her gift, the second wife should also be given the freedom to choose which gift she wants from the remaining 2 and not pick the “reject” gift of the first wife). polygamy is encouraged to avoid more sin between relationship between an unmarried woman and a married man – however, if the man cannot be fair, just and cannot afford it, then he shouldnt do it.
something about the LFDS seems so wrong, and yet i feel so interested to read more. for me, i am just curious to know what is the pull for these women? seems so strange, so unnatural…
hey
I just finished Escape by carolyn jessop it’s really good !!!
Does anyone know where I can find “Brooke’s story focused
on a book that Betty has been writing about her
experiences in and out of the FLDS community”
thanks
Hi myra
After reading the book escape and taken islamic classes, I know polygamy in FLDS is TOTALY diffrent than polygamy in islam. I prefer the islamic polygamy but I would still never agree to share my husband!
I think the book “Escape” should be read by everyone…. because I found in it applicable characteristic behaviors (by men) that are found in MANY religions (not excluding the LDS…. and not to be confused with FLDS), and, found there in justifications used by all women who have been oppressed, or mentally, verbally, physically or sexually abused.
(Not here making a statement on the “doctrine” of any religion) I was once married to an LDS man (individual case) and I noticed (while reading the book) that his tactics, of trying to get me to agree with him and do as he wanted, was very much like the FLDS men (in Jessop’s book) including withholding acceptance, approval and love, repeated verbal reminders of my failings(in his eyes) and potential future lack of salvation, until he got his way. To him, as to the FLDS men (in Jessop’s book), it’s a woman’s “duty” to obey her husband no matter her own insight or treatment, and anything short of that objective was displeasing to GOD, resulting ultimately in “apostatizing” if one doesn’t do as is prescribed. It’s called “fear and guilt motivation”. (So beware, you who are LDS men, if you do not want your sect to be negatively compared to FLDS, that you not reflect those negative FLDS behaviors.)
The use of (what I call) the “God beating stick” on women, in order that men can have their way, is found in many religions. And all such men are behaving unrighteously, no matter their sect.
No, Betty is not happy no matter the claims… (or the staged photo opts with a phone and camera in hand… the absence of such in other’s hands being a dead giveaway), for, it was the Lord who gifted all with an endowment of “right of choice” in this life (not withstanding there are consequences in all choices.)
That right of choice is natural to our natures and HIS WILL in the matter, and the suppression of it is unnatural. And anything that attempts to permanently restrict that “right” (excluding children, who need guidance and to be taught limits) is not of GOD, in fact, is in defiance of the Will of GOD (and there in is the dead giveaway as to whether the FLDS is the “true” pathway.)
The physical, sexual, and emotional abuse FLDS women have to deal with is sickening and heart-wrenching. Betty, as the favorite daughter of the most powerful man in the community, probably has not experienced any of this abuse. Yet. If she is forced to marry some eighty year old man who can’t even stand up, let alone get it up, her feelings might change. If she is married to a cruel man, they probably will. The FLDS seems to encourage men to be brutes and egomaniacs. Her mother lived through many years of abuse and degradation before she was emotionally ready to leave. I can only hope that Betty will see the truth as time goes on and once again be ready for freedom.
Just read the Carolyn Jessop book as well. Judith on 11/3 is certainly right. Betty will have a powerful position within the FLDS for a while because of her father’s status, and her return to the sect. I’d be very interested in reading her story as she sees it now at 19, and then again to read her story when she is say 39. At 19, she doesn’t have the experiences that her mother had, but rather her own experiences. I suspect that she isn’t currently open minded enough to be able to learn from her mother’s experiences, compare them to her own and her own observations of others in her community to make a fully informed decision as to how she wants to live the rest of her life. Really, what 19 year old does?
Hopefully Betty will be a sufficient force within the FLDS community to steer changes to the better and away from the mindset that appears to enslave the sect. At the very least, due to her position, she will likely not suffer as her mother has.
I don’t think Betty will have the experiences that a lot of the other girls have. for one thing, she is 19 now and has not been given to any man, young or old. Since her father, Merril is the leader for now at the Texas ranch, I don’t think Betty will be forced to do anything she doesn’t want to do. I think she truly wants to be there and loves her family on the inside. She is happy because she is favored. Whether or not she takes advantage of this is not known, but with all the publicity and lies that the leaders are trying to convince “outsiders” of, they will not do anything to Betty. Watch and see, I’ll bet SHE is the one to choose her husband, not some “prophet”